Do we confuse normal with extraordinary?

Oct 20, 2022
normal hook alpine climbing, image by Simon from Pixabay

Image by Simon from Pixabay

Too often we seek approval (and likes) to feel extraordinary. This is human nature perhaps: our sense of survival seems to depend on feeling accepted. But when we take action this way, beyond our initial satisfaction, we feel far from connected. We feel inauthentic, like we’re not living our best life, because living isn't about getting nods. It’s about being free to express ourselves genuinely, living in our bodies, and into something we believe in rather than pleasing or rebelling. We’re more afraid of rejection than we are of self-rejection, so we self-reject. A high price for approval, don’t you think? 

This disconnect is the isolation we feel, and instead of being extraordinary, we fall into normal, admittedly with a minor sense of relief because normal suggests we’re not alone. We wake up afraid of losing this mirage and live our days tethered to it.

You can only lose something that isn’t quite right. 

Extraordinary is about finding what is right for you and letting go of the rest. What is right flows river like, is dynamic, present, and ever changing. Holding on is heavy, static, and projects your past into your future.

Are you flowing or holding on?

Here are some widely supported mantras that have become, well, normal and even associated with flow. While none of these are right or wrong, it may be worth considering how any of these impact your ability to access Extraordinary:  

  1. Stop doing it if you’re not enjoying it
  2. “I go to bed late. It’s when I get my best work done; it’s the only time I have for myself.”
  3. “I’m not a morning person. I’m too tired and can’t function during the day when I get up too early.”
  4. “It’s terrible, I know, but I’m a perfectionist” (in the same vein as “I only read non-fiction”)
  5. All in moderation
  6. “I’m super busy, I don’t have the time”
  7. Go with the flow
  8. Love your body, you look great, it’s a part of aging, you only live once

Consider the following that are often perceived as rigid, boring, unnatural or even harsh:

  1. Finish what you start
  2. Go to bed early
  3. Get up early 
  4. Share your work in progress 
  5. Do or don’t
  6. (Are you really busier than the person you’re talking to?) “This isn’t my priority right now.” Or, “I want this; I’ll make space for this.” 
  7. Decide what you want
  8. Love your body. Treat your body like the beautiful, sacred temple that it is. You only have this one vehicle in this lifetime

This is an invitation to try things on, notice what doesn’t feel quite right in your body when you say them, what pushes your buttons, where you feel them, and why. It’s not about right or wrong or defending your beliefs; it’s about finding your truth, your extraordinary. 

Ask questions that belong to you

Extraordinary comes with genuine curiosity and questions in service of understanding (rather than defending) yourself, and as an amazing side effect, understanding others from a deeper place rather than from surface politics and categorizing. Watch for dismissive regard, justifications, immediate rejection of things presented, and “that’s not who I am/ this is who I am” statements: all chronic symptoms of normal.

Don’t believe me? When you notice it happening, check in with your energy and the stories that emerge with it. After the initial high one gets from feeling “right,” there’s something else. Notice it.  

Harnessing your fear to be you = extraordinary 

= self-generated energy.
Practice this for 10 days and note what happens to your sense of self. 
And if you feel so inclined tell me about it. I enjoy hearing from you. 

Love, Savitree

P.S. - You can feel into your body to get to the bottom of things. If you’re not sure how to do this, start here


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