How to create a spacious safe space

I remember my daughter between the ages of two and five asserting her independence. She’d scoot further away from me in public places, but not too far. When she got past her ever expanding comfort zone, she’d come back. She knew her safe place wasn’t too far away. She always knew where I was, no matter how crowded the space. 

My son on the other hand didn’t keep an eye on me, and he’d wander. While I always kept a constant eye on him, he’s been with other adults that did not, and a few times he got lost. Thankfully, we always found him, upset and relieved at once. 

As we get older, the need of knowing where our safe place is to return to is essential. But even sometimes our physical home, or our “person,” doesn’t feel safe-spacious enough. The most constant space is within us, because no matter where you go, there you are. The hope is that you’ll find unconditional love there.

I’m listening to an audiobook by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Three Questions. He compares how we govern ourselves with the way governments govern its people. We put laws in place, and when we break them, we punish. We hardly question if the laws make sense anymore, not understanding its history and if it ever was or still is equitable. Ruiz asks,

Is the leader of your body inspiring or intimidating? Does it make you feel safe?

So much for unconditional love. Here’s something to think about if how we think impacts how we govern ourselves, which would in turn color how we govern as leaders of our household, our community, our state.

Where, then, is our safe space? Can we find one out there if the one inside isn’t always safe? 

The magic of rituals
 

I love this word. It’s like habits, but where habits can be good or bad, rituals connote an elevated, intentional, conscious, respectful sequence of actions that stands for something beyond our finite selves. Habits can be rituals, and by that, we elevate gratitude for life.

Rituals create an anchoring into your safe space. They cause you to stop and pull yourself out of the dramas of life and its tunnel perspectives and into a higher plane. It allows you to connect with a bigger picture and nature of all things. 

The daily ritual
 

When we anchor into a daily ritual that moves us through our own tantrums, we arrive at our safe space, and we don’t lose it. Daily practice creates a deep well, a deep anchoring. No matter how stormy the weather gets, we have access to our space. Without it, it’s like living energetic paycheck to paycheck, heaven forbid a monkey wrench gets thrown into our day.

No matter where you are, you always have yourself. The small child in you won’t get lost because you have your eyes on your higher Self, your big Mama. The one that loves you unconditionally, and instead of trying to govern you, she feels blessed to be your steward and only wants to support your nature.

Here are 5 simple rituals (3 steps) that can bring you home. 

Love, Savitree