I’m going back to work next week. (is covid over?)

I'm going back to work next week. 

I've been working from home since last March. Now that I am about to go back out into the world, I took some time to journal about how I have been feeling about the past (almost) year, and more specifically, how I spent this time*. 

These last 11 months have been challenging and amazing at the same time. This time forced me to slow down. It forced me to appreciate so much. At the same time, it also revealed to me how selfish I can be. I would get upset if I called/texted to check on people and felt that I wasn’t being checked on too. I had to realize that just like I was trying to get through the pandemic in my own way, so was everyone else. For some people, it has been an easy process, and for others, not so much. These last 11 months have really helped me to sit with myself and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. The experiences I have had in 2020 were both lessons and blessings. 

And now, I’m going to start stepping back into my old life. 

It makes me slightly nervous. Not so much because there is a pandemic still going on-- but because I created a momentum that I am not ready to let go of. I’ve created new routines that I really enjoy. I’ve created new routines that my husband and FurBaby have definitely enjoyed and will definitely miss now. 

I shouldn’t have to completely give up what I’ve started. But I also realize that having everything completely as I have enjoyed it these last 11 months isn’t balanced or serving my best good either. I now have to create a new balance; a life that helps contribute responsibly to our current life together, and yet still pushes us closer to our future dreams and desires. 

Balance. 

It’s something I’ve worked on for the past 4 months after my knee surgery, both at physical therapy and in my own yoga practice.

Now, I get to find it  out in the world.

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*My days were spent…

• performing my now just part-time office duties from home. 
• listening to the music I love instead of playing the music I love.
• watching the news with concern about this virus and pandemic.
• watching the Black Lives Matter protests and aftermath.
• watching politics rip this nation, friends and families apart. 
• nurturing myself and my husband.
• playing with our FurBaby, Benny.
• on my yoga mat.
• teaching amazing, radiant souls.
• eating healthy, delicious meals, with the occasional “not so healthy” snack.
• walking in nature (even with a mask).
• in deep, meaningful and loving conversations with my parents every day.
• pouring love into my own business, Buddhiful Body Yoga and Wellness.
• having virtual zoom gatherings with certain friends.
• having amazing monthly family zooms.
• taking naps on the couch.
• doing physical therapy after my total knee replacement surgery.
• getting encouraging calls from aunts, uncles and cousins.
• spending quality time and relaxing with hubby.
• laughing with close friends.
• crying by myself.
• being creative with my mom.
• hustling with side jobs.
• watching church instead of attending church.
• listening to amazing podcasts.
• reading some great articles and blogs.
• writing my own blogs!
• planning and dreaming.
• worrying about my hubby as an essential worker.
• worrying about my parents.
• worrying about my essential worker family and friends.
• exchanging sweet texts with people I love.
• learning to ride a bike again for the first time in over 30 years.
• in prayer and meditation, playing my sound bowls.
• taking online classes on teaching accessible yoga.
• training and becoming a certified Zumba/Zumba Gold instructor.
• diffusing oils, lighting candles and practicing self-care.
• making amazing connections on Clubhouse.
• elevating and icing my swollen knee.
• turning off social media and the tv if I became too overwhelmed or triggered.
• binge-watching shows I’d always wanted to see.
• being home to have dinner with my husband every day.
• sometimes doing absolutely nothing.
• being absolutely busy.
• And, there are so, so many other things I can write here.