Missing the habits you want to break

Dec 22, 2022
a very appealing bed

Image by Ferenc Keresi from Pixabay

Over the years, I’ve missed things. Lots of things. 

  1. I’ve lost friends as I’ve changed. Some were my choice and some were theirs. Either way, there were parts of them I grieved; the hole that used to be filled by them was deeply felt. Even if they were a pain in the butt to me they meant something to me. While I have much to look fondly back at when I think of them today, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss what I gained as the holes got filled with new intentions, new friends, and new experiences. 

  2. Because of what it does to my energy, I don’t eat rice and pasta the way I used to. I miss them. But I don’t miss the struggles from regularly indulging in them, and I wouldn’t want to give back the energy I’ve gained by replacing them with other delicious choices (because there are). It’s been a good trade-off. While I get to enjoy rice and pasta from time to time as a treat, I get to treat myself to light, stable, vital energy day after day. 

  3. Even though this habit’s been long gone, I still do miss sleeping in. It was a joy for me in many ways; it felt like a luxury. But in reality it wasn’t. What I don’t miss about it is starting the day late and not having enough time and energy to do what I want to do at the pace that I feel good about. While waking up super early can seem a bit insane, I have much more vitality, strength, discipline from doing so. I feel better, and I own my day.  

  4. I am now a lot more intentional and disciplined about how I relate to my finances and look at it much more frequently. While I miss being financially “carefree,” I don’t miss the angst of not having a good grasp of what’s going on with my finances, and I love knowing and having gotten comfortable looking at them. I feel so much more in control and am able to make better decisions. It's more care free-ing.

  5. At the moment, I miss streaming because I’m an addict, and I don’t have the space right now to get hooked into a show. But I don’t miss the hold it has on me, and I love having the space to create and celebrate my actual real life. 

  6. My children grew up. I miss having them home and having daily meals with them. But the alternative wouldn’t be better. It’s good that they are growing up and starting their lives as adults, and missing their childhood is a good thing. But now I get to take in the joy of watching them start a life led independently from me. I wouldn't want to miss that for the world.

  7. I miss parts of my past and my past, playful, rebellious me. But I wouldn’t trade it for the present, and in a heartbeat, I’d let go of some things I enjoy now that will accelerate my enjoyment and celebration of my next most amazing version of self. I can't wait to see what the next version of me holds.


It’s okay to miss things. It's not about trying not to miss because many things you might miss will still be there for you if you really want them. Trying not to puts power into those things whereas if you know that you have a choice, the power becomes yours. The things you might miss were pleasures and blessings, and they held space for you in some way while you moved through different points in your life. We’re so lucky to have things we can miss. They were gifts, moments of abundance in choice, time, and space that we could - and decided to - indulge in. Whether we perceive them as good or bad doesn’t matter; they were of benefit and comfort to us. Seasons change and new flowers bloom. The old must go in order to make space for new growth and possibilities in our lives. Remember that the reason you’re thinking of dropping some fond (and not so fond) habits is because your gut (your wisdom) tells you it may be holding you back and that dropping it (at least for now) will help unleash your potentiality and most authentic life. The thing that you’re afraid to miss, if it supports and delivers the kind of fulfillment, play, and growth you wish to experience in your life, then keep it and drop something else that doesn’t. If it doesn’t serve you the way you want it to, dropping it (at least for now) will help open doors to gifts and experiences you won’t want to miss. You just don’t quite know it yet. Trust yourself and take the leap.

Love, Savitree


P.S...  January 9


(much like this blog post!)