Practice, fluency, and true belonging

Apr 13, 2023

Image by Peter Morth from Pixabay

 

So I’ve been practicing Spanish on Duolingo for almost 500 days straight now and have racked up a lot of XPs for those who know what I’m talking about… and I’m slaying it! 

But the truth is, I gotta get out there and have actual conversations in Spanish with real people. I surprised myself with how well I did recently when I had the chance to speak with a Spanish speaking cleaning crew. I felt so accomplished! I also felt more connected to them since only one of the four could carry on in English. But that was an atypical day for me. Usually, I lack confidence when given the opportunity. While Duolingo is definitely increasing my vocabulary and sentence fluency, I won’t gain much more confidence and fluency by waiting another 500 days to start using it in real life situations. 

Confidence and fluency comes from interacting with others in the manner you want to get confident and fluent in

Meditation: learning self-fluency and belonging

I’ve been practicing daily meditation since 2005. When I began, the practice felt like a continuous dream date with the person that I had yearned to connect with for so long but had no face to attach to it. It turned out to be mine. Through practice, I relished the space that was created for me, the silence from distractions to hear my own voice, and the sense of belonging to myself. I became more fluent in my own internal vocabulary and how it impacted me, opening up more options in my life. 

Like Spanish fluency, it got to where I had enough access to that language, and it was time to interact in the world. It was time for me to listen to the nudges to take up some space in my authentic self in the world. You know when that point comes for you because the experience of self practice changes from wow, this is totally healing and fulfilling to oh no, there’s something else I need to do.   

The most amazing insurance policy we have

It’s called Grace. 

You’ll make mistakes, which means you’re trying things out. If you’re old enough to have driven to different towns before the existence of MapQuest and Google Maps, you might remember getting completely turned around in unfamiliar neighborhoods, and by getting lost, quickly learning to navigate those areas and learning how towns and highways connected. 

When you make mistakes, Grace comes in. You get to see the support and resources appear, and how strong you are. And, you learn to navigate unfamiliar territory. You learn that your back is had. Parenting comes with a LOT of Grace. So does stepping forward to initiate uncomfortable conversations. Or asking for help. Or pressing the submit button. 

Remember that the anxiety around interacting in difficult, unfamiliar, or unpracticed situations mostly exists by not taking that next step. If you stay in your head about it long enough, it can begin to feel as if your practice is betraying you: why isn’t it working? Show up to your practice, and the Universe delivers you. Show up to situations, and Grace delivers you strength, trust, and support. This is a two-part practice in increasing fluency, confidence, and sense of belonging.    

Practice gives you some level of fluency (of Self). When it becomes a hiding place, however, it becomes limited. Meditation is a wonderful place to turn to for releasing stress, for sure. But what it does best is connect you to your higher sense of Self. And your higher Self was meant to serve…. meaning to interact with others from your most authentic place, and from your truest desires. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but maturity comes from doing it anyway, which is where the confidence comes from.  

Love, Savitree

P.S. - Self Practice. Daily. And then take it into your day. The practices included are there to help bridge your practice to your life.

GET WEEKLY SOUL NOURISHMENT TO YOUR INBOX

(much like this blog post!)