Take this challenge to create a powerful mindset shiftAug 16, 2022
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself today. When you’re faced with a success or challenge, notice your internal response. Do you congratulate or berate yourself? Do you give yourself a pep talk or pile on the criticism?
Have awareness. Be curious. No judgment. Simply catch your thoughts as they happen.
Tomorrow, continue to have awareness of your thoughts, and label the thoughts as coming from your Inner Coach or your Inner Critic. Your Coach offers words that are helpful, supportive, encouraging and uplifting. Your Critic offers words that are unhelpful, disapproving and judgmental. Your Coach energizes and moves you forward, your Critic depletes and cuts you down.
At the end of the day, notice who you heard from more, your Coach or your Critic. If you’re hearing predominantly from your Coach, wonderful! Let’s arm her with even more good stuff. If you’re hearing mainly from your Critic, let’s make sure your Coach is free to express herself and support you in the way you need it. Sometimes, the Critic overpowers the Coach and you don’t get to hear from your Coach at all. If this is the case, you have the power to empower your Coach, and bring her front and center on the field of your life.
Next, think of the messages you heard from your Coach and Critic throughout the day. Write the messages down and label them as Coach or Critic. This will identify for you, what inspires, supports and motivates you, and what doesn’t. This isn’t to say that the Coach is good and the Critic is bad. A good Coach will offer you critical feedback to motivate and assist you in moving toward your goal. She can point out what’s not working so that you can make the necessary changes to adjust your course.
With this in mind, consider the words from your Critic. For each message from your Critic, write down a counter statement that supports you. For example, if you had an argument with your partner and you heard from your Critic: “You SUCK at communication! No wonder the two of you are always fighting. If you would say what you want, you wouldn’t be in this mess!” - one way to transform this into a message from your Coach could be: “Historically, communication has been challenging for you. You initiated that difficult conversation. You worked with your breath to remain calm. You did your best in the moment, and now you can think about how you would say this differently next time.”
This isn’t sugar coating, your Coach can acknowledge your struggles while pointing out what worked and offer suggestions for improvement. As you progress through this exercise, notice what comes up for you. With practice, you get to adjust the statements to make them more meaningful to you.
Make this a regular practice. Open your calendar now. Add an appointment for each morning to reflect on the words of your Coach from the previous day. Add an appointment for the evening to consider the words of your Critic and reframe them into supportive words for your Coach (this helps train her to know what you need and how to give that to you). I recommend turning on the notifications to remind you to do this until you have the habit set.
Over time, your Critic will take a back seat to your Coach and you’ll transform how you talk to yourself, enhancing your confidence and self-worth along the way.
With love and support,