When's the right time to do something?Nov 10, 2022
There's rarely a 'right' time to do anything of true significance. Because it's always time for pick-ups, deadlines, catching-up from falling behind, and errands.
When we wait for that right time, the stars rarely seem to align, and we’re rarely in the perfect state of mind and energy to begin. Like the prospect of having children, we never feel fully ready, resourced, or capable. But even for relatively low stakes events like scheduling time to get the car diagnosed, teeth cleaned, attend a yoga class, or to see friends… we delay and reschedule.
…until we’re forced to take the time (our body - and car! - knows how to make us stop and pay attention). Until we lose our sense of who we are - or who we used to be. Until the family is sleeping and our tasks are done haha. And in those rare moments, we only have enough energy to turn ourselves over to a screen until our eyes can no longer stay open.
I can hear the voices of women say when’s it my turn?
Your turn is now
As women, we give up our turn all the time, and no one is making us do it. We're martyrs. Through our actions, we let people know what we’re willing to take, what we’re not, and how “flexible” we will be for them.
To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with others asking you for help. Hopefully you do the same. Asking is a skill that can be honed, and it often requires strength and courage to do so. AND, it’s the responsibility of the person being asked to answer the truth.
Say yes to your own sacred time and to what you dream about. First.
Now is the time. If the literal now is honestly unrealistic, then take a moment now to schedule it in your calendar. Remember to assign it a color, it will have you thinking in priorities.
When something comes to you, and you find yourself looking at it closely, and it resonates deeply with you, there’s nothing to think about, it's the right time.
A friend recently shared how she got back to theatre acting with three young children: she saw an amazing performance by a single mom and asked her how she does it. The woman shrugged and said, I SAID YES and decided that I would figure it out. And they both did, unapologetically with no regrets. The story could go another way: she waits until the children grow up, and then she decides she’s too old, she doesn’t have the energy nor the fresh inspiration, and she has more responsibilities now than ever before (she thought things would get simpler later), and she doesn’t know what she really wants anymore.
We never regret self care. And the people around us are better served by it.
I’ve seen women wait to take a course or join something that spoke to them deeply, and while they were “making space” for them, the opportunity disappeared because the world changed, and they wished they made different choices and figured things out. In hindsight, they say, what I thought were obstacles at the time were not real, I only thought they were.
On the flipside, I have a friend who lives by the mantra: Let's do this while we can. He means it in the most positive way. Right now is the time to do things we really want to do, to play, to figure things out. We don’t know what crazy twists and turns the world will bring.
The timing that is right is when you stop and yearn
If something wasn’t meant for you, you wouldn’t have stopped and taken notice. For instance, you might delete something in your inbox before you read the subject line. You might even read the first sentence and then delete it. Clearly, it wasn’t meant for you at this time.
But instead you’re compelled to read something today, you go into the finer details, and your heart feels it: this is what you need, it will nourish you, it will move you forward in some way. This is what it means for the stars to align. Follow your inspiration, your dreams. This is how you begin to know. This is how you get curious, adaptable, and playful. Questions will come - the important questions, the answers for which are rarely logistical in nature and can only come through you. The logistics are simply testing how truly important this yearning is for you. It's never about time. It's never about the money. It's always about the connection you have to something. And when it's important to you, you make it happen. If you're finding yourself making excuses, drop the unnecessary energy drain and identify what's not connecting for you and then move on. It will help you hone deeper into what actually does, and you'll sharpen your desire antennae and attraction magnet in the process.
You’re super important. Contrary to what you might think, you do have entitlements: you’re entitled to good health, success in all realms of your life, and to self-love. You’re entitled to experiencing a deep sense of fulfillment. It is your absolute birthright.
P.S. - From reading this, did anything come up for you that you have to do right now? If you’re not sure, tap into your yearnings. Take two minutes to journal about it.
P.P.S. - Does this make sense, but you need more guidance? Check this out.