why connecting with your longing is key to focus, discipline, and self mastery

May 19, 2021

Everything we do, we do to feel and become complete in ourselves.

Spirituality says that you are looking for your God Self in all that you do. Even before you were born, in utero, your mom was the completion of you. And then you realized your separateness, and thus began what would become the lifelong search for that missing piece... outside of you.  


You search for it in the work that you do and in your partners. You eat and you shop with this in mind - what will complete you? You are hungry.  

This longing makes you search where we were ALL taught to search.

You’ve been raised to think your wholeness is in the safe career that everyone can approve of. Of finding your Prince Charming, your Savior, or a "Guru." In how you dress to stand out or blend in. In what you eat that will allow you to celebrate with your friends and family.

When they don’t work, this starvation can lead to depression, existential dread, and addictions to numb the pain.

Spiritual teachers will tell you to detach from your desires when in fact your desires stem from your Soul's longing. Suppressing that is to block the bridge to your inner Guru.
You may not identify as a disciplined person, but consider the "bad habits" you're so disciplined in. It's because they were fully supported in some way, and it served you in some way. In arguably odd ways, you felt connected... in that Netflix series, in your rebellion, in your servitude. As human, we all need that connection where we can get it. We are resourceful. 

But no matter how much you succeed in accordance with the world, you eventually realize the Great Hoax. Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain got that. The answer wasn't in their success and massive circle of friends. I had friends who ended their lives because they got there, and they felt "dupped," is the word they used.

Seek where you’re not taught to by society. They don’t point you there because it's not profitable, and you become autonomous and incorruptible.

That longing feeling that keeps you up at night - hold onto that. 

Without it, it’s hard to stay inspired. Without it, willpower can’t sustain. Just point it in the right direction. 


What you want to do now is to use that longing to find wholeness where your Soul is finally fed (instead of your insecurities, which are never full).

In order to remember your true mission, it’s critical that you surround yourself with a tribe that has made spirituality their mantra. The essence of spirituality is to know yourself, and to love your life. In this way, you can see and hear others and be the love and compassion you wish to be. The tribe matters because otherwise you feel alone and the journey becomes less than fun and downright impossible. 


The kicker is, when you get attached to seeking wholeness in the right place and attain it - the partner, the work you do, your wardrobe, the car you drive, what you eat - they all become right.


p.s. if you're serious about finally feeling full, consider jumping all in to a mastercourse that will reset and recalibrate you to your Soul's desires. Go here.

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