Codependence, Dependence, Independence, Interdependence
Mar 30, 2023
Most of us are familiar with codependency and independence; it’s used in conversation…
They’re very codependent.
I’m trying to be more independent.
People don't say...
They’re very interdependent, or
I’m trying to be more interdependent.
What they say is...
They’re an amazing pair/ team, they're tight; they work through things together, they support each other.
Or...
I want to be happy. I want to feel connected. I want to learn to communicate better. I want a mutual relationship where we respect, love, and communicate with each other.
The Differences
Codependence is when one person’s needs are more important than the other.
Dependence is when one person relies on another to get their needs met to be okay. A child, for instance.
Independence is when a person relies on themself instead of others to get their needs met and to be okay. Independence is the stepping stone between dependence and interdependence. This is where we learn to know ourselves well enough to distinguish ourselves from others. To know what our work is, and what is not. To learn what our desires are, and what desires belong to others.
Interdependence is when a person engages in a mutual, two-way relationship and becomes bigger than the sum of its parts. This is the realm of win-win. Where richness, genuine connection, and deep joy happens, and where knowing oneself means also to understand others.
In interdependence, we’re reminded of how much love surrounds us, how much fun it can be to go through things together, how bonding it is to open up, how much we affect each other’s well-being, and how much easier it was to engage than to not. This is where when we’re alone, we know we’re not.
Love, Savitree
P.S. - I’d love to continue this conversation with you. I want to know what you think about this and have the opportunity to go back and forth. If you’d like that too, let me know what you think here. If you haven’t logged on to your HLF community platform already, sign on here. It's free.
