Your discomfort is not your fault. But you have the power to change it.

Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay

In conversations about personal issues - i.e. health, relationships, work, or getting up in the morning - potential solutions arise that can put power into our hands. While many of us yearn to connect with our own power to heal and create the life we envision, when it comes down to it, it can feel downright scary to take on that responsibility. It feels easier to defer to professionals, pills, more reading and workshops, or to spend exhaustive energy ruminating on the situation that’s making things bad or unsatisfying. 

While there are certainly more, here are 3 common arguments to solutions that I often see get in the way of us moving forward, and the myths and truths behind them. 

1. I’ve got too much going on, it’s inconvenient, it’s uncomfortable.

In this case, the pain we wish to resolve isn’t as painful as the inconvenience of having to resolve it. Or we feel helpless, under-resourced, or unsupported. Or perhaps we haven’t pinpointed the real pain. 

I was that stubborn person who historically waited until the pain got so bad that by the time I finally did what I resisted, there was a lot more to do to just stabilize and get to ground zero. That I might have felt helpless, under-resourced, or unsupported earlier was moot point; in fact, by the time I got to doing what I resisted, I was arguably more under-resourced. I did this enough times that I realized I'm not really helpless, I have all the resource I'll ever truly need, and that support is a frame of mind. At some point, I resolved not to wait… that long anyway. I'm happy to report that life is better now. 

My mantra is: convenience and comfort is nice, but power (to do it on my terms) and expression is divine. There’s nothing more delicious than feeling great in body and mind, sustained naturally without the threat of crashing. This requires using my power to act. I’ve learned that it’s the nicest, kindest, more effective way to be, to myself and others. I get that it’s hard to do this if the results feel uncertain versus the guaranteed benefits of doing nothing different. This is why I emphasize small habits. They seem almost too minor to look at, therefore easy to dismiss, but they are the building blocks to the empire that is your life.   

2. That’s not who I am or what I do. 

Of course if a solution clashes with your values, certainly it makes sense not to go that route. But very rarely do I hear it in that context. What I hear is, I think I still have something more to learn in this situation, so I’ll stay here for now. Or, doing that isn’t in my comfort zone so I won’t do it. Or, for instance, I’m not a morning person. 

I firmly do believe that everyone needs to move at their own pace, and only they know what that is, but sometimes, nudges are necessary, certainly before the BIG nudge of calamity arrives. In order for desired change to happen, a behavior or two requires changing, effected by you. Comfort comes from habit, and anything can be habitualized.  

But if I do that, I might lose this, and I don’t want to lose it. 

When you change a behavior, habit, or thought, change happens in what you’re wanting to change. What is essentially you, and belongs to you, only gets better. What you stand to lose is the parts that bring you down.

The key is to focus on what you stand to gain. You stand to learn more about yourself and those around you. You stand to get clear on what’s b.s. and what’s real. Your range of self, your capacities, tolerances, and adaptability expands and deepens. You'll learn that you prefer to live in change over your current discomforts. And you'll come to realize that the Universe really does conspire in your favor. You are more loved and supported than you know. And you will still be you. 

3. Because it involves making a different choice in how I’m living my life -  the solution implies that my pain is my fault. 

This myth creates a huge, unnecessary wall that makes simple, natural, and essentially free options inaccessible. 

It’s not your fault. 

We live in a world that teaches us to trust the “professionals” outside of us over ourselves. We are the professionals of us. We only need to connect with our inner authority.  

We live in a world that encourages consumption and convenience over creation. This means we as a society have habitualized short term, passive gain over building our unique vision. You can decide differently. 

We live in a world that prizes logic over intuition, head over body intelligence. Which means if your choice isn’t statistically proven and everyone else isn't doing it, you’re crazy. That's crazy!

This world disconnects us from ourselves. Nothing that’s uncomfortable is your fault. You’ve been doing the best you can with the energy, information, lens, and capacity you have. That you had the resources to crack the code and see new options beyond the convention - including yogic convention - is a big win. Most solutions are not just right under our noses, it's within us. These insights aren't here to cast shame, no. They’re here to point the arrow at, and remind you of, the power you have to activate your own healing powers and create your own joy. 

Love, Savitree