How to be happy

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

I believe the foundation for happiness is to uplift.

Others and yourself. Verbally, through body language, and in your secret thoughts. 
Not tolerating the thoughts that bring you down and finding another way to see. 

If you can’t help it - to get out of the thought patterns that make you unhappy- rather than feeling bad about not being able to help it, do these instead:

1. Take a moment to notice the physical sensations instead of feeling bad. Where do you feel them? In your heart? Veins? Stomach? What does it feel like?
   
   Fully check out what’s going on. This allows you to acknowledge and listen to yourself instead of creating yet another story that spirals you down deeper.
   
   It’s okay to feel bad.
   It’s too much to feel bad about feeling bad, don’t you think? 
   Instead, get present and pay attention to your body sensations. There is wisdom there, and you will move your emotions through and out.

2. Figure out what exactly is making you feel bad and what value is feeling threatened (rather than wrapping yourself into a narrative that makes you feel worse). Then focus on what you value. And feed it.
   
   When you witness others falling into this trap, you can reflect their values back to them as well instead of inadvertently telling them they’re wrong to feel a certain way, because acknowledging their values is uplifting, and a potent place to connect from. 

But what about those nagging thoughts that keep coming up?

• The person is wrong, they have to see reality, and someone needs to correct them.
  Have you ever been made to feel small or wrong by someone, thanked them and changed? We remain more open to new ideas when we feel heard and respected. 

• But it’s not right how things are, and I don’t want to reward bad behavior or ignorance.
  Have you ever been accused of ignorance - like you’re not informed - and felt grateful for the call-out and changed? Did the messenger feel like a hero to you? My guess is the answer is no. 

   

What we pay attention to grows. 

Pay attention to the yearning, the love, the deeper intentions and pain behind the words, actions, and thoughts of others, whether it’s your significant other, friend, the person on your screen, or stranger next to you. Seek beyond the superficial words.

We don’t have enough context for anyone, not our significant other, not our children.

We all want peace; even those that say war is inevitable. We display bravado or shut down because we feel compelled to defend and protect ourselves or our values.

The physical sensation of feeling right is addictive. It’s a protective, survival response. These can be softened and replaced by the miracle of acceptance.

By making ourselves and others wrong, we feel more angry, sad, and separated, because what we pay attention to grows. We all have the capacity to figure things out and do right when given the chance to put our guards down. We all have the capacity to find personal strength and happiness. When we uplift, that’s what grows.

Remember that the other person is you. 

What you see so sharply threatens you because you’re working that part through in yourself as well. Find compassion for yourself, and you will find compassion for others. This changes what’s possible.

Remember that the inspiration and greatness you see in the world is also a reflection of what is in you. Allow this to uplift you, because what you pay attention to grows.  

We are in an information war. The problem is, when we're not open, “information” is yet another weapon. Uplift and find peace in each other first, and create mental space and emotional bandwidth for the differences. This is the order. There’s a little bit of truth in every reality. Find each other first. Magic can happen. We need magic. 

I believe our mission is to uplift. It will change your world to do so. And your happiness will extend out to the rest of it. 

Love, Savitree