The Ultimate Guide for Setting Personal Goals

As we near the end of the year, and with the bustling energy that comes with the holiday season, we get to see how we roll and do a bit of reflection that comes with the close of one year and the anticipation of the next. With a new year comes the prompt to reset, make fresh plans, and renew our commitments. We’ve become skeptical of resolutions, or we wonder how this time around we can make real change that will make our lives feel more like our own. 

There are a ton of “ultimate guides” out there on setting personal goals. One popular suggestion is to know your WHY. Another one is to build a plan and create deadlines. 

I find that many people struggle with these. I’ve noticed that they get clear on their WHY after they’ve worked their goals. Until then, they follow their gut, their passion, possible solutions to their fears and pain, their sense of responsibility or calling, trying out different pathways until their WHY is articulable. And then things accelerate. So if you ask me, the ultimate guide needs to cover the parts that come before your WHY.

The question becomes, can you get clear on what to follow until that point, find the courage and the space to follow it, and speed the process up? 

Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay

Before we go there, let’s cover the elephant in the room: GOALS. Some people hate this word.

GOALS

There are a few things we need to keep in mind when we talk about them. 

First, they matter. They cause you to think about your values, priorities, and dreams, and they help you realize them. This is the part you put out as co-creator of your life. You plug in your current desired “destination” and the Universe gives you options. It will even show you detours, shortcuts, longcuts, and potential stops, and you get to decide along the way if any of them are worthwhile. You always get to choose another destination. But without plugging something in, you can’t see them. 

Goals give you a strong point of reference to make the decisions that feel right for you. The experiences that arise from those decisions help you tweak your goals. In this way, you get to know yourself and your needs better and know whether you should turn right or left. Without them, you’re at the mercy of mood and weather. 

Goals give you flexibility and at the same time anchor you in your values and desires. Without them, meaning and purpose can become elusive, especially with all the noise coming at you from every direction, and you become more prone to exhaustion, intolerance, and hypersensitivity; because your nervous system becomes frayed. You were meant to consider your desires as part of your self care and service to the world. When you find yourself constantly trying to “get away” from your hectic and stressful life, your desires are superficial and ultimately costly. When you take care of yourself, your desires shift towards deeper, more authentic and nourishing ones. 

Life really is about the journey, and you were given an internal compass to navigate it. The Universe wants you to figure out what you want. Don’t wander willy-nilly. Use it and make it a good ride. 

So. Goals to get to your WHY. 

THE ULTIMATE ULTIMATE GUIDE

1. Get up early. Conquer time. Do what you need to do to make this happen. There’s a lot of information from the inside (your body) given to you in the early morning as you feel the effects of the day before. Whatever time early is for you, as long as you don’t jump out of bed just in time to run out the door, take a call, feed the kids, or distract yourself with screens, you’ll get this information. When you sit still and listen, your body will tell you what you need to know to become a well oiled and happy human. This is your first secret to finding your authenticity and purpose, which is difficult to find when you haven’t conquered yourself in this way. By that I mean start the day with yourself first, ideally early enough when the world is still trying to wake up, hence less interruptions. Morning sets the tone. Over time, your purpose will get you up in the morning. 

2. Follow a morning habit stack before you step into your other roles: pee, brush your teeth, sip on some warm to hot water, get dressed, move your body, meditate - all before you take your first cup of coffee. Hygiene first. Physical, mental, and spiritual. Then check in to see if you need that coffee. Just so you know, I love coffee and I’m saying this. You can use it as a celebration instead of a jolt to your system to wake up. Let your sense of purpose start doing that for you. Make space for it to come through. See #1.

3. Soul journal: immediately after your meditation, take 3 minutes to write w/o thinking. You’re tapped into your body intelligence, your gut, your soul, the cells in your body. They don’t lie. You’re not fully in your head yet - not if you haven’t turned on any screens or taken a call yet. Writing in stream of consciousness strengthens the voice of infinite intelligence that lies within you. It will help you find your purpose.

4. Have a solid, delicious, sit-down lunch every day. One that doesn’t give you food coma. One that nourishes your cells, energizes your body, and keeps you full until the next meal. Check in with your energy about 10 minutes after you eat. Make the correlation. You’ll learn a lot. Goal setting and finding purpose is hard when you’re not feeling great. 

5. Humor yourself and start trusting the little voice inside of you. They say big gifts come in little packages. This little voice is not so little. It’s the most important voice in your life. Stop second guessing it. As with all exercises, this gets easier with practice. 

6. Be generous of spirit. Decide that everyone truly is doing the best they can. Remember, when you criticize others, it’s a reflection of your own self criticism. Give others the benefit of doubt, no matter how crazy and offensive they seem to you. You’ll notice you’ll start being kinder to yourself and having better relationships with others. This and the next will clear the obstacles that sabotage your ability to establish and follow through on your personal goals. 

7. Find ways to play, have fun, be happy for and elevate others. Make yourself happy because you can only dish out what you’ve got. This resets your metabolism, strengthens your nervous system, balances your glandular system, and increases your energy. Your physiology shifts and opens to possibilities and increases your ability to receive the gifts that come at you all day. Yes, they become more visible when you play, and it begins to feel natural to accept them graciously. In this process, you’ll become clearer about what you want. As you do…

8. Write down what (else) you want to experience in your life and what you get to learn in order to experience them. If you want to experience love, for instance, write down what that looks like for you: is it about finding the love of your life? Or love of a child? Kittens? Love of work or service? Make this part of your journaling process from time to time.
   One of my desires has been to experience deeper love with a life partner and a handful of close friends. To experience this, what I get to learn - this will be a lifelong process - is better communication and unconditional acceptance (big word, I know. More on this another time). 

These guidelines give you a solid foundation and structure for authentic creativity. Without them, it’s easier to get trapped in past programming and old habits. 

With these, your ability to see yourself first feeds your sense of self, purpose, and action. Your generosity and play will help you see yourself through others. And you’ll get clear on your personal goals, and then your WHY. This uplevels your internal mantra (your repetitive thoughts), which informs your decisions, which informs your actions, which celebrates your life. 

This is a promise. 

Love, Savitree