Using habits to get more flexibility in your day

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

One might argue that intending new habits throughout the day adds more to your to-do list, making your day that much less flexible and that much more overwhelming.

If this is true, you can default to your current habits. But if your habit is to delay, such as scrolling, eating, ticking the “low hanging fruit” off your to-do list to get them out of the way (along with your energy), or feeling stuck trying to sort through the emotional web of what next...  your likelihood in saying yes to external demands (someone else’s intentions, not yours) is increased. This might make you feel temporarily purposeful, busy, and off-the-hook, which is usually the draw. This also sets the tone for more of the same, inducing the feeling of having limited options and reduced ability to step into your own desires. When you think about it, that’s even more overwhelming.

When you put simple habits in place that reflect what you know deep down to be how you want to be, and you follow them, it becomes a part of you, and that provides for self-inspiration and clears the way to decisiveness. Which clears the way to flexibility and freedom. Earlier this week, one of my group members reminded us all of this saying, which goes something like this:

First, an intention. Then a behavior. Then a practice. Then second nature. Then it is simply who you are. 

Simple and intentional habits - spread throughout the day - become your anchor and sustenance.

And they cover the first three parts (intention, behavior, practice) in making your desired actions second nature and living into your most authentic life. When you choose habits that support who you are, who you want to be, and what you wish to experience, they give way to flexibility of mind (your internal sense of flow) and body (your action).

What is flexibility

Flexibility is the ability to flow with discernment, let go of the internal rebellion (the hooks, the short term satisfaction of being right or overprotective), and to be able to make yourself available for the things that really matter to you.

With practice, your headspace will become free from the burdensome habit of continuously negotiating with yourself and carrying the weight of second guesses. Your intentional habits strengthen you from the inside out so that you believe in your capacity to step into the unknown with more curiosity, less fear. 

There are pivotal parts of the day to create intentional habits. For each part of the day, or at the very least, for the toughest parts of your day, write out your new habits, step-by-step, the way you might write out instructions. If you’ve lived on the planet long enough to have had the pleasure of following instructions to assemble anything (including recipes), I’m sure you’ve appreciated the ease in following excellent ones and experienced utter frustration from ones that were simply too vague. Make yours excellent for yourself, you’re worth the time. 

Here are the pivotal parts of the day to anchor yourself with some good habits

1. Wake up time: the first things you do when you wake up until you need to show up wearing a different hat (mom, spouse, dog walker, commuter, co-worker, patient, writer, etc). How you carry yourself through this time sets the tone for how you will perceive, experience, and engage with the world.
2. Bed time: the last things you do before going to bed determines the quality of sleep and how successful your morning wake up time will be. Which of course informs the rest of your day.
   Many parents have solid bedtime routines for their children, from bath, to brush, to pjs, to books, to one more story, to kisses and tucking the kids in, to lights out and closed door. It provides for a safe container, one which they - as well as the parent(s) - count on even when they fight against it (it’s just a part of the glorious routine), and helps internalize the natural circadian rhythm that supports good health and a sane morning for the entire family. Do you have your own routine like that? 
3. Witching hour: for many, this is the time where things fall apart, and it typically ranges between 2 and 6 pm. Ironically we call this time happy hour, to which many happily succumb to discounted bar deals, junk food, junk thinking, and junk everything else to take the edge off. This might be a good time to schedule a walk or work out with a reliable friend, playtime, nature time, or a weekly coaching session for some excellent growth work!
4. Any other time that you personally find difficult to follow directives from your sense of Self.
   

You may not think you know, but you do know what you need to do during each of these times.

Only you know when you’ve triumphed, when you’ve fallen flat, and what causes one of those things to happen.

You can point fingers on the behaviors of others and external circumstance, but that won’t change the stuff you want to change. Your day is in your hands. Create small, super simple habits to start shifting the energy and momentum for these parts of the day. Make them actionable steps that will make you feel accomplished, strong, alive, and self-affirmed. It's important to note that you don’t even have to be clear about whether these new habits you're putting into place are the right ones. Practicing the follow through on them will let you know. And you'll simply pivot.

Love, Savitree

Schedule a strategy session with me. It's my gift to you.