Why meditation may not be working for youSep 08, 2022
Do you use meditation to fix things? Or do you use it as daily mental hygiene? Stop and think about this for a moment before you read on.
Do you drink wine to take the edge off? Or to celebrate life with a friend?
Do you look to a life partner to make you happy? Or to stay curious and open with each other?
Do you brush your teeth to get rid of oral pain? Or to maintain good health?
Your reasons set your expectations and determine your habits and experiences.
We don’t dwell on how little time we have in the morning to poop, brush our teeth, shower, get dressed, get coffee, and walk the dog. Even when we oversleep, we figure out how to accomplish as many of these things as possible before we rush out the door. Rushed or done with plenty of time, we don’t say, I tried that for a long time, and it didn’t fix my problems, so I stopped. You wouldn’t say that because these things wouldn’t fix your problems. They would, however, start you off on the right foot, and probably a little more confident. The more prepared you are in the morning, the better the start to your day. Similarly, meditation starts you off with the right mindset and clearer sense of self.
I start every person I work with with the breath because correct breathing sets you up for better meditation. Likewise, every business mentor that I worked with starts by recommending morning meditation to elevate mindset to support success. Meditation, they say, helps you become better at life.
Things have a honeymoon period, then they shed light on growth opportunities
We’ve all experienced this in our relationships - the good times, the high. And then the work begins. This is growth opportunity (I like to see it as love opportunity). Meditation is a relationship. The honeymoon period gives you an experience of what it could be like should you remain curious and willing to show up despite your mood and despite sleeping in.
Meditation is not in lieu of. It’s in combination with.
Meditation alone doesn’t fix problems. It gives you listening power and different perspectives to change the narratives and open up options to fix the problems in your life. It gives you calm, strength, and desire. It helps you conquer your reactivity, your ego, and time. The more you meditate, the more you can distinguish between what you want and what others want. Pair that with courage to act, and you’ve got something. The more you use courage, the more courageous you become. The more you hide from it, the more likely your self-care turns into soft-addiction. And that, my friend, doesn’t work.
Dance, walk in nature, write, exercise, rest, take courses, read, do therapy, eat what makes your body feel good, laugh, pull up your sleeves and do the work you need to do in your life… and see what happens when you meditate daily with curiosity rather than expectation. Not only do you have time for this, it will create more time for you. That which nourishes is life. And when you work on that which nourishes, it works. The rest is busy-ness.